Might Be A Little Excited ;)

It's been a few days since my last post, not much has happened really. Eating went well this week apart from today, i had way too much to eat, that i can't even remember all that i had. Back on track tomorrow with a fast though.
Weighed myself yesterday morning and the scales said 112.6lbs. Yay! So excited. I doubt it will be that tomorrow though, but i am not going to weigh myself for a while again because i go off track if the numbers don't go down as quickly as i want them too.
So, do you remember that guy i told you about? Well he messeged me yesterday and we got talking as you do. And he asked me to go to this air show our town is doing. I was like 'hell yeah'. So we are going on Sunday and i am well excited. I am just worried on what to wear so i don't show the world my flab and fat. I thought about some skinny jeans, because everyone says i look good in them. I don't agree but whatever. And a nice shirt with a hoody because i am bound to get cold. It's always windy on the beach.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend and i will be back to give you deeetails :):)
Lots Of Love Logan x x

I Just Don't Understand

I am so confused right now. I ate a kitkat today, the two finger one and i feel sooooo guilty. But why? Because some people eat that just as a snack when i ate it as just my dinner. I felt guilty because it's chocolate and has a lot of calories and fat for something so small. But the thing i don't understand is that, why should i feel really guilty about that when i could have binged on a whole pack of 9. I should be proud of myself that i just ate one and said that was enough. Instead i have to torture my mind over and over again that i shouldn't of had it. I should of just chose a orange instead.
I feel like i have to do 200 crunches.
I feel so tired and have had alot of headaches lately. I know this is happening because i'm not eating enough. But i will do anything to be thin.
I think that i need to plan my calories for the day so then i know exactly how many i have had.
I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow, so that should help this weight loss a little bit faster. I haven't weighed myself in ages because i am so scared of what the scale will say. It's so weird how that little object is so powerful.
I was also so strong yesterday, i took my little sister shopping and treated her to Macdonalds but all i got for myself was a diet coke. No food, just coke. But i was a little naughty and had 2 chips but whatever....
Hope you lovelies are doing well. I am thinking of you x x
Love Logan x x

Mixed Emotions

I think i last posted when i was fasting. I only fasted for that day though and then the next day i ate probably what a normal person would eat. The day after that was Friday and i fasted then and then yesterday i ate again like a normal person. So i didn't do very well but i didn't do too bad either.
I thought about fasting again today but i went to the gym and i was so tired i couldn't even run that far, so when i came home, i had a cup of tea and 2 biscuits (naughty, naughty). Then for dinner, i had fruit loaf and go ahead bar. So i am defiantly getting back on track, which makes me really excited.
However, i am scared. I am scared that once i fall into this cycle again, i won't be able to get out and the losing weight will become so addictive. I have a goal weight and image in mind but whether i will be blind and won't see it when i get there is another story. But i really don't want to be this fat for the rest of my life.
I was also thinking about the disadvantages and advantages about this losing weight business.
The disadvantages weighed out the advantages but that still doesn't change my mind about what i am doing. I want to be thin and i will do everything in power to have it.
Sorry this post is a bit jumbled. My mind is in a jumble today :).
Thankyou for reading.
Love Logan x x

Loving Green Tea

I am doing well today for the first time in over a week *claps*. I haven't had a single bite to eat and i am keeping it that way. I had a really cold glass of water when i got up this morning, then for lunch i had some green tea and then for dinner i had normal tea. I haven't done a fast in ages and i am loving the high i am getting right now. I remember why this is so addicting now :).
Not much has been happening really, just been doing the usual and going to work.
Tomorrow i think i will carry on with the fast, i might un box all my clothes and re box them again so they are neat. I do have a little bit of OCD i think but not major.
I hope you are all doing well and thankyou to all my lovely followers who comment and thanks to my new followers.
Love Logan x x

Yummy!

Failing But Still Not Giving Up

Just by reading the title i am sure you have all guessed right. I did binge again today. But i think i have had enough now, my body is starting to retaliate. I have had some horrid stomach cramps, felt sick and all the rest.
Today i am such a good mood, most days i am but usually when i binge i go into this depressive mute mode and don't like to talk to anyone or feel like functioning normally. But today i don't feel like that, i feel so positive, that this week will be good. If i was going to fuck up at all this week, at least it was in the beginning so then when i weigh in next week, i would have hopefully lost a little bit.
I can do this, I can have a tiny flat tummy, a gap between my thighs, shoulders and elbows that could slice through ice. If i can do it, then you can to, so lets do it together. Who's with me girlies?
Lots Of Love Logan x xx

The Never Ending Cycle

Hello, sorry i have been gone for so long and haven't been commenting. I will get to that as soon as i have finished this.
I need help, seriously, this binging is getting out of control. On Friday i thought to myself that if i start a new diet on Sunday i have Friday and Saturday night to get the binge out of my system. But then comes Sunday night and i have binged again. Ahhhhh, i hate this cycle, it makes me so depressed, i feel so fat, that i don't even want to talk to anyone.
I am thinking about doing the 2,4,6,8 diet for about 2 weeks, just to get me back into the swing of things.
I am moving house at the end of September and i want to be skinny when i move there and i want it to be a place that i never binge in or am fat in. I want this new place to have good memories not bad ones of me sitting inside my bedroom on a Saturday because i feel so full.
I have decided as well that for every 10 pounds i lose i am going to post a body-shot. I did weigh myself this morning, i had a towel on and was quite bloated. It said 119.2lbs. The first photo i will be putting up will be when i reach 105lbs though. Because sometimes i at least feel a bit more comfortable with my weight then.
Got to leave you i am afraid, speak to you soon
Love Logan x x

Bloody Hiccups!

Yup, i've got hiccups and they are driving me mad. I have had them twice in the space of an hour. I think it was because i drank quite alot of fizzy in a short amount of time and i don't usually drink fizzy. My body was probably shocked by it.
So i went to my friends sleepover and we had lots of unhealthy food. That's the one reason why i hardly ever go to sleepovers. I thought sleepovers were supposed to be fun. Arrrgh. Even though i ate alot, my friends were like "You don't ever eat or drink much" or "Are you sure you are feeling alright". And there i am bloody shitting myself thinking about how many fucking calories i have consumed. It's so weird how people have different thoughts about portion sizes and stuff. I am also really tired because we were up til the early hours of the morning just talking.
Back on track tomorrow and start losing weight again.
Oh, i almost forgot. My friend has this full length mirror, so while i was changing i thought i would have a look to see if my body has changed. My collarbones are definitely more prominent and my stomach has got a tad bit smaller. And also my legs look a little smaller but also more tones because i have been doing running alot more than i used to.
I am also going to get some green tea tomorrow, i didn't think i would like it but i tried my friends and it wasn't so bad.
Lots Of Love Logan x x

Butterflies :)

I love that feeling when you get them butterflies in your tummy and you can't help but feel excited but nervous at the same time. I got that feeling today :).
I was at work and suddenly out of the blue, this guy that i really like comes in. My heart starts racing and my hands start shaking. But my face said it all i had this huge ass grin on my face and my eyes must have lit up when he came through the door. I think he was happy to see me though because he had a huge smile across his face too :). But i only got to talk to him for literally 3 seconds because we were so busy at work.
The thing is, i think he may have a girlfriend. People have told me that they have broke up but sometimes i am not so sure. He has a baby with this girl too, which does make things a bit more complicated. I would still date him if the chance ever came up knowing that he had a baby because i know with him it would be a 2 for 1 package. He might be coming to work with us for like one day a week, so i am definitely excited about that. I just really like him and i don't know how to find out whether he likes me too. It's just i have liked him for so long now and i think that if i don't make a move soon, then i am going to regret it.
Anyways, enough about him. Today went really well, i have had a coffee, tea and a tiny fruit loaf slice. I need to start being strict on myself because this weight isn't going to shift itself.
I haven't been to the gym since Monday though, i have been getting really bad period pains, even though i am nowhere near that time of the month. I just get them really early for some reason. But i am planning  on going Sunday morning because tomorrow they shut early and i have work.
I hope all you girlies are doing well too,
Love Logan x x

Busy And Tired As Per Usual

It has been really busy these past few days at work. But i am not complaining because it has taken my mind off of food. I have had some pretty awesome days eating wise. Just had the bare minimal that i need to survive really. I have had a mini binge tonight though. But i am expecting these little bumps here and there and if i don't let it worry me, i will just forget about it tomorrow and continue on eating as little as i can.
Weighed myself this morning as well and i was 114.2lbs. Could not believe it, i had also had breakfast before i weighed myself. So things are looking good. My work trousers fit perfect now, also my collarbones are more prominent. Hard work does pay off in the end.
I am meant to be sleeping round a friends house on Sunday but i am feeling very anxious, because i wont feel comfortable and i don't want to eat a huge amount of food there either. This is a family that like to eat lot's of food. Don't get me wrong, they are nowhere near fat, i really don't know where they put it. I just really don't feel like going. Maybe in a couple more weeks, when i have lost a little bit more weight.
So tired today, so i will post comments on all your blogs tomorrow when i feel a little more awake.
Nighty night
Love Logan x x

It Was Bound To Happen Again Sometime

Hello there.
Today hasn't been so great. I haven't binged though, i just ate some junk food that shouldn't have gone in my mouth.
It has just been such a boring day, we hardly had any customers in today and it just made me feel tired and weak.
I have stopped eating for today and i am planning on not eating again until Tuesday morning. I really want to do a fast. So i think i might as well do one and see how i do. Hopefully i will complete it and not ruin it with a binge. That would be a nightmare. I think i may weigh myself again on Wednesday. Then it would have been a week since i last weighed myself.
Got the day off work tomorrow so i am off to the gym and then i may take my little sisters to the park because they have been so bored this summer. My mum is soo lazy, she can't even be bothered to take them on a 10 minute walk. Nevermind, i will enjoy spending some time with them.
I hope all you girlies are doing better than me.
Love Logan x x

So Excited!

I am quite proud of myself, i totally forgot about all the food that i ate on Wednesday and just got back to restricting. Normally that never happens, usually i would just say fuck it and keep binging for the rest of the week. I am in no mindset to binge again though. Well for now, anyways. My work trousers fit, a little tight for my liking but at least i am getting there.
Last night, i was up quite late thinking of goals and what i could give myself as treats for reaching them goals. So i feel pretty motivated at the moment.
Also i have booked my first driving lesson for Monday, i am so excited. Ever since i was a little kid, i have wanted to drive. And i got myself a car about a month ago so i am all set, i just need to take some lessons, do my theory and pass my test. Exciting times.
Tomorrow i have work, so it should be quite easy to avoid food. I really want to do a 3 day fast but i am so worried about binging and putting all the weight back on. Oh, nearly forgot to tell you, on Thursday morning after my horrific binge the night before, i thought i would weigh myself to kick myself back into gear. The scale weighed me at 120.4lbs. Not too bad, after all those weeks of non-stop binging and i was pretty bloated. But it's still nowhere near good enough. I just need to get out of the 120's.
I am going to stop waffling on now and let you go.
Love Logan
P.S. Here's some thinspo :)

My Fingers Are Crossed

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday went perfectly as i wanted them too. I could have restricted myself more b ut i wanted to start off slow. However today, i ate way too much than what i should of. But i am not going to dwell on it. I am going to forget that it even happened and start restricting myself again.
I think i might do a fast tomorrow, to make up for today. And i am also going to go to the gym, burn some of these nasty calories off. Imagine if food didn't have calories :).
Really tired at the moment, the nights have been so cold, i can't sleep properly. My work trousers are getting looser :).
Much love Logan x xx