I Hate Myself More With Each Passing Day

I am ashamed to say that i binged again today. I feel sick, ugly, fat, worthless and disgusting. If i could have one wish, it would be for all this to go away and never have to worry about what i eat and don't eat. I feel useless and lazy, i haven't been doing anything for anyone lately and it makes me feel sick because i don't want to be that person, I hate being lazy or called lazy because to me that makes me feel fat.
I have a event that i have to attend on the 14th October which is less than two weeks away, i think it's something like 12 days away, i have to be thinner by then i don't care what i have to do to get there, i just have to be there. I think i should have one meal one day and then fast for the next. This is very risky because it could easily lead to a binge but if i am strong, i should be able to do it (hopefully).
I am also meeting my sister on the 28th October and i would love her to be like "have you lost weight", that would be pretty cool :).
I have a really good motivator to lose weight as well. It's my 18th next July and i am going to get a tattoo, i really want it on my hip and how embarrassing would it be if i got my fat belly out for a tattoo, no i want to be thin so that the tattooist can actually see my hipbone.
Thought i would post some thinspo for some motivation :)