Might Be A Little Excited ;)

It's been a few days since my last post, not much has happened really. Eating went well this week apart from today, i had way too much to eat, that i can't even remember all that i had. Back on track tomorrow with a fast though.
Weighed myself yesterday morning and the scales said 112.6lbs. Yay! So excited. I doubt it will be that tomorrow though, but i am not going to weigh myself for a while again because i go off track if the numbers don't go down as quickly as i want them too.
So, do you remember that guy i told you about? Well he messeged me yesterday and we got talking as you do. And he asked me to go to this air show our town is doing. I was like 'hell yeah'. So we are going on Sunday and i am well excited. I am just worried on what to wear so i don't show the world my flab and fat. I thought about some skinny jeans, because everyone says i look good in them. I don't agree but whatever. And a nice shirt with a hoody because i am bound to get cold. It's always windy on the beach.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend and i will be back to give you deeetails :):)
Lots Of Love Logan x x

I Just Don't Understand

I am so confused right now. I ate a kitkat today, the two finger one and i feel sooooo guilty. But why? Because some people eat that just as a snack when i ate it as just my dinner. I felt guilty because it's chocolate and has a lot of calories and fat for something so small. But the thing i don't understand is that, why should i feel really guilty about that when i could have binged on a whole pack of 9. I should be proud of myself that i just ate one and said that was enough. Instead i have to torture my mind over and over again that i shouldn't of had it. I should of just chose a orange instead.
I feel like i have to do 200 crunches.
I feel so tired and have had alot of headaches lately. I know this is happening because i'm not eating enough. But i will do anything to be thin.
I think that i need to plan my calories for the day so then i know exactly how many i have had.
I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow, so that should help this weight loss a little bit faster. I haven't weighed myself in ages because i am so scared of what the scale will say. It's so weird how that little object is so powerful.
I was also so strong yesterday, i took my little sister shopping and treated her to Macdonalds but all i got for myself was a diet coke. No food, just coke. But i was a little naughty and had 2 chips but whatever....
Hope you lovelies are doing well. I am thinking of you x x
Love Logan x x

Mixed Emotions

I think i last posted when i was fasting. I only fasted for that day though and then the next day i ate probably what a normal person would eat. The day after that was Friday and i fasted then and then yesterday i ate again like a normal person. So i didn't do very well but i didn't do too bad either.
I thought about fasting again today but i went to the gym and i was so tired i couldn't even run that far, so when i came home, i had a cup of tea and 2 biscuits (naughty, naughty). Then for dinner, i had fruit loaf and go ahead bar. So i am defiantly getting back on track, which makes me really excited.
However, i am scared. I am scared that once i fall into this cycle again, i won't be able to get out and the losing weight will become so addictive. I have a goal weight and image in mind but whether i will be blind and won't see it when i get there is another story. But i really don't want to be this fat for the rest of my life.
I was also thinking about the disadvantages and advantages about this losing weight business.
The disadvantages weighed out the advantages but that still doesn't change my mind about what i am doing. I want to be thin and i will do everything in power to have it.
Sorry this post is a bit jumbled. My mind is in a jumble today :).
Thankyou for reading.
Love Logan x x

Loving Green Tea

I am doing well today for the first time in over a week *claps*. I haven't had a single bite to eat and i am keeping it that way. I had a really cold glass of water when i got up this morning, then for lunch i had some green tea and then for dinner i had normal tea. I haven't done a fast in ages and i am loving the high i am getting right now. I remember why this is so addicting now :).
Not much has been happening really, just been doing the usual and going to work.
Tomorrow i think i will carry on with the fast, i might un box all my clothes and re box them again so they are neat. I do have a little bit of OCD i think but not major.
I hope you are all doing well and thankyou to all my lovely followers who comment and thanks to my new followers.
Love Logan x x

Yummy!

Failing But Still Not Giving Up

Just by reading the title i am sure you have all guessed right. I did binge again today. But i think i have had enough now, my body is starting to retaliate. I have had some horrid stomach cramps, felt sick and all the rest.
Today i am such a good mood, most days i am but usually when i binge i go into this depressive mute mode and don't like to talk to anyone or feel like functioning normally. But today i don't feel like that, i feel so positive, that this week will be good. If i was going to fuck up at all this week, at least it was in the beginning so then when i weigh in next week, i would have hopefully lost a little bit.
I can do this, I can have a tiny flat tummy, a gap between my thighs, shoulders and elbows that could slice through ice. If i can do it, then you can to, so lets do it together. Who's with me girlies?
Lots Of Love Logan x xx

The Never Ending Cycle

Hello, sorry i have been gone for so long and haven't been commenting. I will get to that as soon as i have finished this.
I need help, seriously, this binging is getting out of control. On Friday i thought to myself that if i start a new diet on Sunday i have Friday and Saturday night to get the binge out of my system. But then comes Sunday night and i have binged again. Ahhhhh, i hate this cycle, it makes me so depressed, i feel so fat, that i don't even want to talk to anyone.
I am thinking about doing the 2,4,6,8 diet for about 2 weeks, just to get me back into the swing of things.
I am moving house at the end of September and i want to be skinny when i move there and i want it to be a place that i never binge in or am fat in. I want this new place to have good memories not bad ones of me sitting inside my bedroom on a Saturday because i feel so full.
I have decided as well that for every 10 pounds i lose i am going to post a body-shot. I did weigh myself this morning, i had a towel on and was quite bloated. It said 119.2lbs. The first photo i will be putting up will be when i reach 105lbs though. Because sometimes i at least feel a bit more comfortable with my weight then.
Got to leave you i am afraid, speak to you soon
Love Logan x x

Bloody Hiccups!

Yup, i've got hiccups and they are driving me mad. I have had them twice in the space of an hour. I think it was because i drank quite alot of fizzy in a short amount of time and i don't usually drink fizzy. My body was probably shocked by it.
So i went to my friends sleepover and we had lots of unhealthy food. That's the one reason why i hardly ever go to sleepovers. I thought sleepovers were supposed to be fun. Arrrgh. Even though i ate alot, my friends were like "You don't ever eat or drink much" or "Are you sure you are feeling alright". And there i am bloody shitting myself thinking about how many fucking calories i have consumed. It's so weird how people have different thoughts about portion sizes and stuff. I am also really tired because we were up til the early hours of the morning just talking.
Back on track tomorrow and start losing weight again.
Oh, i almost forgot. My friend has this full length mirror, so while i was changing i thought i would have a look to see if my body has changed. My collarbones are definitely more prominent and my stomach has got a tad bit smaller. And also my legs look a little smaller but also more tones because i have been doing running alot more than i used to.
I am also going to get some green tea tomorrow, i didn't think i would like it but i tried my friends and it wasn't so bad.
Lots Of Love Logan x x